Sneaky Flame App Redux

  

I feel like the weakest woman on the planet sometimes. When it comes to this goddamned app I have the self control of the world’s fattest man in a Krispy Kreme doughnut shop.

Before you judge, though, let me tell you what I did. 

The entire last year on that app was so depressing. At 46 I put my photos up, was nice and rarely even got a message. I look the same, save the blonde highlights I got recently. 

Apparently 47, a tad blonder, a tiny touch of cleavage (tiny… I mean it. I’m a DDD. If I were to put my boobs on Tinder NOTHING about it would be tiny and I’d have 5000 legitimate fucking perverts to weed through) and I let my true self shine through. That means I’m a total fucking sarcastic smart ass this time around. 

I made my new profile less than 48 hours ago and I’ve already been on a date and have more than 200 messages in my box. From hot guys 35-50 (my realistic age range) who have been respectful so far. Is 47 the new 30? Do blondes really have more fun? Can men really handle my sarcastic, witty self? How did I not know this? 

  
Last night’s date was mediocre. We knew each other in middle school come to find out. He’s exceptionally boring. He’s done a lot of therapy. He’s nice but not my type. I didn’t tell him his facial hair looked awful on him and he was much more handsome before he started running marathons (i.e. 75 pounds heavier). I won’t see him again.

I have another date tonight and my dance card is full through next week. Don’t ask me what changed other than a couple of photos and letting my true asshole shine through. Apparently men find that funny. I wish I had known all it took was being honest.

I also have a new outlook on this. I’ve shown interest in guys that I normally wouldn’t have. Instead of 6′ I’ve dropped it to 5’10. I’ve expanded my ages to a little older (but they still have to be handsome). I’ve let up on not liking the dad bod a little bit. 

My hopes aren’t up, but my vigor is renewed.

I give it two weeks.

-THAT Crazy Girl 

  

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10 thoughts on “Sneaky Flame App Redux

  1. You are hilarious! Men are funny like that, they love the feistiness. I’m glad you are on a roll. Even if the dates are okay, at least you are getting out and being pursued. That’s fun. Damn, all those messages in what, 2 days?!?! I was on Tinder for a hot minute (like 2 weeks) last year but while I got matches I didn’t get very many messages. Men do love the cleavage and you sound like you have awesome boobs! Good for you! 😉💙😘

    Liked by 1 person

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