Dream A Little Dream

  
Good Morning! It’s 5:30 in the morning and I have to get this down or I’ll forget. I’m hoping maybe Survived Narc can help me interpret this one. I think I already know the answer, but wait! There’s more.

My life is the epitome of “But Wait, There’s More!” The strength of heart and mind that has been required over the years to get through this thing called life has been extraordinary.

I went to bed last night in a great mood, having watched “The Proposal” and laughing with both of my kids and my son’s girlfriend. Earlier in the day, however, I’d had three conversations with men that had brought nothing but sadness and tears, each with an ex. The first was an “I love you, but I can’t be with you until this is over” conversation with the most recent man I’ve told you about. He is, to me, who I’d want to be wrapped up in every day if I could be, but I can’t, so I won’t. In the past three years I’ve learned that I come first. It makes me a better woman and mother if I put those who aren’t my immediate family on the back burner. The second ex is the father of my children. He’s been part of my life for 25 years. We talk every day. Yesterday our talk brought me to tears, because, quite frankly, I carried his burdens and mine for 17 years, especially being a police officer’s wife and he tends to put too much on me as far as discussion goes. I can’t solve his current marital problems being his previous marital problem and I told him so. The third ex I’ve mentioned before, here  Toxic, Probablyonly briefly as someone I came together with a few years ago during a period when we both were suffering. I’ve known him since I was young. To say that the situation isn’t fucked up like a soup sandwich would be a lie. I’ve told him many times now that we can only be friends, yet he pushes, I’m stressed and have to push back. He has a wife. I’m not proud of that. They were separated when we became intimate. Now they’re not. Judge not, friends. It’s a tangled web.

So on to my dream. I must preface this with the fact, that as a lifelong insomniac who once went almost 22 days without more than an hour’s sleep per night (it makes you literally psychotic in case you wanted to know) that I take Ambien to sleep. I’ve heard of Ambien dreams but really hadn’t experienced any vivid dreaming until last night.

Here it is:

I was an exorcist of sorts. A regular castor out of demons, ghosts and otherworldly things. This dream was in black and white except for small, weird parts in color like a wedding part and the sinkhole parts. I’d been called by a family to cast out their ghosts and I was good at it. I felt every single spirit in the homes. I felt legitimately terrified during this dream and saw ghosts of all sorts. I was also walking through the house cleansing it and shouting “In the name of Jesus Christ, I repel thee” (there’s a movie line if I’ve ever heard one). There was a family that was haunted and two ladies. They were both old, gigantic houses full of rooms and closets. It’s almost like these were set in the 50’s old South with the dress, cars, and old, rickety homes. In the ladie’s home they were shouting “In the name of Lazarus” but I digress…

These ghosts and what I feel now was a tiny demon disguised as a chubby baby girl (I may have actually said this at one point during parenting 11 or so years ago!)  were everywhere. Every corner, every room, every closet was a different entity that I had to cast out. In both scenarios they’d take me to what they perceived as the most haunted areas of their houses and I’d cast those suckers out. 

The most vivid ghost of all was that of a tall woman dressed as a 1950’s flight attendant who came out of a closet, floated across the floor right in front of me to the elevator and said she had to go. She was beautiful and ethereal and I couldn’t stop looking at her. I wondered how many years she’d spent her life floating across that floor saying she had to go? It was devastatingly sad.

*I must put an author’s note here that I believe very much in the supernatural. I’ve lived in a haunted home and I am what people like to call “empaths” these days. I take on the feelings of those around me very easily. I have to watch that and fight it or I can get sucked into their sadness. Thanks, therapy!

There was a recurring color scene in both houses. Sinkholes. I was walking, dealing with these ghosts and suddenly the ground would give and sink into the Earth underneath me, barely making it out with my life. Twice this happened, once inside the ladie’s home and the second time in the yard of the family’s home, which sucked my car and the ground beneath my feet into the pool area. The husband of the family was constantly near me, trying to protect me. He had glasses and looked like my friend’s husband Chris. He’s a kind guy so makes sense, but I haven’t seen him in years.

The family was just fucking weird. The wife had this drawn look like she’d had a hard life. She wore an old dress.. A smock really and had a gaggle of children running around. They took me from room to room showing me where the ghosts were, depending on me to set them free. Invoking the name of Jesus, I was helping them one by one. It was the same for the two women.

Let me talk about the baby, though. She was a toddler, really, a fat, chunky little thing who should’ve been adorable but I could see through her. I felt like she was a demon, and she was everywhere. I was chasing her, she was destroying everything in sight like a baby does but the mom and I were exhausted chasing her around. 

  
A strange scene during the dream in color was a wedding that was taking place in front of the family. I was unable to see the bride and groom, but I was observing the family sitting on the couch, the little baby on the mom’s lap glaring at me. They were holding up an old rotary phone so that someone could hear the wedding. 

During the very last of the dream the baby toddled outside and was missing. I chased her to a parking lot where a police officer was sitting in a old style police vehicle. He got out to help her and I screamed “Noooooooo!” Guess what, another sink hole sucked him right into the Earth. She grinned at me and I woke up.

HOW FUCKED UP IS THIS DREAM?!? 

I need to add that when I woke up I wasn’t scared. My 12 year old daughter was wrapped tightly around me. She is such a sensitive child. I think somehow that baby knew that I needed her snuggles. Rarely does she sleep with me, but to wake up enveloped in my child with her lightly snoring beside me was the best feeling in the world.

I think I know who I am in this dream. I’m the exorcist. The person everyone depends on to solve their problems. I’m also the ghost, always saying “I have to go”. The sinkholes? I think that’s me getting sucked into other people’s problems. The baby? She was just a creepy little thing that nightmares are made of.

The moral of this story? I need to stop being friends with my exes. 

Secondly, I may have a promising career in casting out demons. Oh wait… That’s my everyday life.

-THAT Crazy Girl 

Advertisements

7 thoughts on “Dream A Little Dream

  1. Alright! Here comes the interpretation of all the major symbols I could find:
    (I apologize in advance for the long reply, but since I do not know which parts of the interpretations are relevant for you, I just throw in what I believe to be relevant, (( but omitting a few things that seem completely unlikely, from all the facts you have given here))….

    – Exorcism: To dream that you or others are being exorcised symbolizes your initiative to regain control and take steps toward the direction of your goals. Alternatively, you may not be taking responsibility for your actions and are looking for a scapegoat. Dreaming of performing exorcism on someone indicates that you are stepping up and taking control of a situation.

    – Ghosts: represents something that is no longer obtainable or within reach. It indicates that you are feeling disconnected from life and society. Try to figure out what the ghost wants or what it is looking for. The dream may also be a calling for you to move on and abandon your outdated modes of thinking and behavior. To dream that you reach out to touch a ghost, but it disappears indicates that you are taking steps to acknowledging some painful or repressed thoughts even though you are not ready to fully confront them.

    – Demon: indicates that you may be experiencing or inflicting fear, emotional distress or physical abuse in your waking life. Demons are also symbolic of ignorance, negative habits, and of your shadow self. Perhaps you are being overindulgent and letting some negativity give way to your better judgment. Alternatively, the demons may represent a past secret that is still haunting you. To dream that you are possessed by demons indicates helplessness.

    – Evil Baby (Haha Sorry, I just have to laugh!! 😀 ) means: Seeing an evil baby/demon baby in your dream implies that you are apprehensive or afraid of a new project that you are undertaking. You may be taking on more than you can handle.

    – Wedding: To see/ attend a wedding in your dream symbolizes a new beginning/transition in your current life. A wedding reflects your issues about commitment and independence. Alternatively, your wedding dream refers to feelings of bitterness, sorrow, or death. Such dreams are often negative and highlight some anxiety or fear. If you dream that the wedding goes wrong or ends in disaster, then it suggests that you need to address some negativity immediately. If you dream you are attending a wedding, consider how you feel at the wedding. If you are upset or sad, then it means that you are unhappy about the current status of your life. If you are happy, then you are embracing a new change in your life.

    – Black and white: suggests that you need to be more objective in formulating your decisions. You may be a little too unyielding in your thought process and thus need to find some sort of balance between two opposing views. Consider the views and opinions of others. Alternatively, black and white dreams is a sign of depression or sadness. You may feel that there is not enough excitement in your life.

    – Sinkhole: suggests that you are unsure of where you stand emotionally in some relationship. You are feeling unstable. Alternatively, the dream symbolizes your shaky foundation.

    – Police: To dream that you are having difficulties contacting the police suggests that you have yet to acknowledge your own authoritativeness in a situation. You need to take control and be in command of the direction of your life.

    These were the major dymbols I could find from your dream! And I wasn’t no guru, at all 🙂 I just took the parts that seemed relevant, and cut out all the rest.. 🙂 If you like any of their interpretations here, you may want to check http://www.dreammoods.com next time, on their A-Z symbols. I just know that last time I had such a significant dream, the meaning of it became so much deeper, using their dream symbols.. 🙂 Hope it helped some at least! Hugs!

    Liked by 2 people

    • All of this! Just all of it! There are things I have to change, 100%! Such regret and things do feel shaky and uncertain. Depression… Yes. More so recently. Unattainable and out of reach, absolutely. I do feel out of control right now with many things and may need to take more responsibility in some areas. This is dead on, love. Thank you! I feel like I’m 1000 years old sometimes. ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

    • And this I find mesmerizing. It’s spot on.. Thank you for this link!!
      To dream of a haunted house signifies unfinished emotional business, related to your childhood family, dead relatives, or repressed memories and feelings.

      To see a house in your dream represents your own soul and self. Specific rooms in the house indicate a specific aspect of your psyche. In general, the attic represents your intellect, the basement represents the subconscious, etc. If the house is empty, then it indicates feelings of insecurity. If the house is shifting, then it suggests that you are going through some personal changes and changing your belief system. To dream that a house has no walls represents a lack of privacy. You feel that everyone is looking over your shoulder or up in your business.

      To see an old, run-down house in your dream represents your old beliefs, attitudes and how you used to think or feel. A situation in your current life may be bringing about those same old attitudes and feelings. Alternatively, the old house may symbolize your need to update you mode of thinking. If you see messy and/or dilapidated houses in your dream, then it implies that an aspect of your own life is in chaos. You may be suffering from some emotional or psychological clutter. You need to release these feelings in order to regain control. To dream that your house is damaged indicates your waking concerns about the condition of your house.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s