Out Of The Blue

No sooner did I sign up for OKC then a guy I dated right before I met the “ex-fiancée” contacted me on Facebook out of the blue. We dated for some time but ultimately, we didn’t work out. He was a good guy and kind. We drifted apart because of how far away we lived from each other (an hour and 1/2) and because things were never made clear that he cared about me deeply until after I moved to Detroit.

I’d always thought of him often. If nothing else, just wondering how he was, but we lost each other’s numbers. 

To say I was glad to hear from him was an understatement. Not only is he kind, but he’s handsome and sweet. Our physical connection was like the 4th of July. Fireworks went off when we touched each other. His kisses made my toes curl. I’ve told him and stand by the this, that he was the best I’d ever had. He says the same about me.

Needless to say, I spent several hours with him yesterday and again this morning. It’s like no time has passed between us.

When we went our seperate ways he met a woman and became involved with her. They lived together and were in a relationship for a year. Apparently, when he decided things were over and tried to leave, she turned violent. I felt for him as he heartwrenchingly told me what happened and showed me the scars where she injured him permanently and the bite marks. I know this man and how he was raised. He is not an abusive man, nor had he ever so much as raised his voice to me when we dated. He’s friends with his ex-wife and they’re raising their boy together with no animosity.

I was stunned when he told me that this ex girlfriend accused him of abuse the night he tried to leave and that they both went to jail.

Now she’s been making his life a living hell. I won’t go into all the details but the only thing she’s managed not to cost him was his job and his son.

He told me this morning that he would understand completely if I ran the other way. My heart is heavy because we were so good together and still are. 

I’m not sure what I can do at this point other than think about whether or not all of this is worth it. There’s court coming up and there’s the distance between us. He’s never been to jail before this happened. I validated what he told me and pulled up the details from the arrests for both of them.

Sometimes I feel like someone is playing a cruel trick on me to have him come back into my life and then have this be the situation. 

I know people make mistakes. I want to support him, but have no idea what the future holds.

I do realize this is my decision and my decision only, but feeling like I’ve been punched in the stomach and incredible anxiety and worry for his well being and that of his son is all I’ve felt since he left today.

To say I have the worst luck in relationships might be the understatement of the century. 

Why does love have to be so painful? I guess if it were easy, everyone would have it.

-THAT Crazy Girl



11 thoughts on “Out Of The Blue

  1. Maybe I am a little slow.. I just woke up.. 😊 But: is it clear that he is going to jail? Or is there a trial coming up where he risks getting jailtime?

    Also, I do not quite follow why he would get jailtime if she was the aggressor/ the one who “attacked”.. I mean if it was self defense for him, then it should be easy for a laywer to get him to go free, right? Otherwise there is something seriously strange about the laws.. I do not know the situation so I do not know how much force he used of course..

    If you do plan on keeping something going with him, I think it’s really smart of you to get all the facts… Just so you know what went down etc.

    I am sorry that you found a great connection but then there are difficulties attached to it… I know that feeling. At least when it comes to making things last in a very long perspective, then there is always, always some “obstacle”. Hugs!! 💜 🌼 🌸

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello love… They both have court and attorneys. I’m getting with my family to understand the laws and see the charges. I really don’t know that I can do this, though. Domestic violence in Texas, especially when she had bruises (he was defending himself, but still) can take them both to jail. It’s only been two days and my stress level is through the roof. Above all things, I’m taking care of myself first ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

      • Oh ok I see… I hope everything turns out well… it is a tough situation, and it is very good that you are looking out for yourself in this.. If it gets too much for you to deal with, perhaps take a step back and consider how involved you want to be etc. I understand it must be tough, since you really like this person. Take care..! 💜

        Liked by 2 people

      • Thanks love… I told him I can’t be in the middle of this and when things are resolved we will see where things go. He agreed and wants to protect me. I’ll be his friend but nothing more until it’s over. Me first, love. Me first ❤️

        Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you love. I told him today that I’ll be here for him as his friend but I can’t do this until things are wrapped up. He’s not the type to suck me into drama. I’m not the type to let the drama vampires drain my soul. He has to resolve this on his own, then we will see how things go. Thank you for thinking of me. I care for him deeply and people make mistakes. We will see what the future holds. ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m sorry this is so tough. I really hope this mess gets sorted out fairly, doesn’t seem right for one person’s actions to drag down the other with them. Sounds heartbreaking and whatever role you choose to play in this, remember to put your needs first. And you get to choose how entangled you get in it, even if it didn’t feel that way. Sending big hugs to my sister from another mother. 💙💙

    Liked by 1 person

    • You read my mind babe. Already done. Friends only until this is resolved. He agreed so I don’t get hurt. We will see in a few months how things shake out… In the meantime, me and my babies first ❤️❤️


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