My favorite show on TV is New Girl (followed by About A Boy.. And The Foster’s…on and on) and I finally watched what I’m going to call the “Dice” episode tonight.

I can summarize it like this:

Naive girl wants to join hookup site

Guy friend advises not to join hookup site

Naive girl joins and ends up at creepy beardytail guy’s house 

Guy friend trains her in the art of online dating

I can’t tell you how hard I laughed when these questions (paraphrased) came up from her guy friend:

What do you think when a guy says he wants to meet close to his house?  *expects to have sex with you

When a guy says he rides public transportation? *no job

When a guy says he’s staying at a hotel nearby? *homeless and a perv

When a guy says his mother is the most amazing person? *lives in her basement, a virgin AND a perv

None of her innocent answers were right and all of his answers *(not quotes, but close) were spot on.

Sometimes I really do wonder what a nice girl like me was doing wasting my time on those sites (see Beautiful People post.. I’m apparently not ugly) and then I realize so many of us are experiencing the same nightmares.

I went to the gym this week. The gym is full of hot men who see me face to face and smile. I don’t have to ask for a picture of them smiling with teeth- I can see them. 

I can find out his name to Google when he scans in (sneaky but I’m a cop’s ex wife, I can’t help it). I can also tell that they are really 6′ tall. In gym shoes.

I think I’ve found my nirvana. A dirty shoe smelling, body odor filled nirvana that I’ll take over sneaky Flame app any day of the week.

-THAT Crazy Girl 



2 thoughts on “Dicey….

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